Do You Have a Black Belt in Self-Sabotage?

I for one have mastered the art of getting in my own way. I wasn’t born with this gift. But I wonder if self-sabotaging traits can be re-gifted through DNA, learned by example in the home, or if it takes both nature and nurture.

I’ve heard that we are the average of the people we surround ourselves with, but what does that mean for a child raised in a toxic environment (whether they face emotional or physical abuse or lack the love and attention required to build resiliency)? Children are trapped with no way of improving their living situation, no blueprint on how to cope, and no means of escape except maybe turning their pain inward (at least that’s what I did as an only child).

Coping skills and defense mechanisms mean survival. And because dysfunctionality tends to be kept secret from the outside world, children learn to wear…